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“A young adult may think saving 0 a month is enough,” notes Butts, “but her parents may think otherwise.” There are no hard and fast rules for financial arrangements, but families do need to establish guidelines that work for them.

“Some parents take money, even a token amount, because it makes the adult child feel better when contributing to the family’s well-being,” Newman says.

Everyone in the household should have some personal space to claim.In the GU survey, 78 percent of respondents acknowledged that the arrangements contributed to household stress.Caring for older adults, not to mention sharing a bathroom with someone whose last address was a frat house can be trying, to say the least.But when Keller offered to design her an accessory unit with her own entrance and kitchen, Adefuin accepted.

“My mother-in-law had a whole house before and was independent,” says Keller. Now she can still cook and entertain her friends.” Giving everyone access to both private and shared spaces is the cornerstone of harmonious family life, but purchasing a bigger house, building an extra unit or even modifying a home can be expensive and difficult.We’re doing the ‘village’ thing—my kids are getting a better sense of what it means to be a family.” The Mc Gloughlins gave up some privacy when Judy moved in—“Charlie can’t sit around the living room in his boxers,” Mc Gloughlin says—but they’re more than happy to share their home and everything in it.